Knowing when to stop!

I must say that I am an absolute bugger for over-doing it and not knowing when to stop!

Friends and family will always nag me to slow down, rest and take some time out but I just love the buzz of being busy, training hard and keeping on. From the moment my eyes open in the morning, I get up, drink some Aloe and that's me, I am on it right up until bedtime.

I am sure this is pretty common, having a busy life is fulfilling and makes you feel that you have achieved something rather than just existing day after day but its the 'knowing when my body is telling me to stop' bit that I really must pay attention to. You see, and I know I have mentioned it before, I am a tough old cookie and often live life thinking that I am indestructible and to be honest that attitude has always served me pretty well.

During my training session this morning, I was working really hard. I always try to better myself as I need a challenge. I record my 'max-out' times and thrive to improve on them daily but this morning when I maxed out right near the end of the session, as I stopped what I was doing to a quick slurp of water before getting back to it again, I stopped and paid attention to my body.  Not only was my heart rate through the roof but I could kind of feel my heart pumping through my head!! and it was fast! With a very sweaty and heart-pounding head, for the first time, I got scared. I had to actually completely stop and recover.

It was at that moment, as I was leaning over our dinning table to slow things down and watching the sweat dripping from my nose, that I thought of what could have happened if I didn't listen to my body screaming to me to just stop. The silly thing is that I already know how easy it is for us MSers to over heat and have no doubt that this would end in my keeling over or goodness knows what else, so I should never have let myself get to that point. 

Its not all about me anymore, I am a mother of 2 gorgeous boys and I must keep telling myself that. If I harmed myself what on earth would happen to them?
So lesson learned, I got scared, addressed it and gave myself a big slap on the back of the hand! Naughty (but very much ok from the episode) Gemma!

X Ray Results

NEWS IN!!!!!.....and it is fantastic!

My x-ray results show that both my knees are fabulous and perfectly healthy which I am delighted with. Although this does mean that I am having a relapse but as far as I am concerned this is great news.

I now know that if I continue to train/workout I am not damaging myself (although it very much feels like it) or causing any more problems. It simply means that my brain is 'incorrectly' telling me there is something wrong therefore causing it to hurt. As it turns out, I am quite a tough cookie and seem to be able to run through the pain so I am back on it.

Just been out for my first run (2nd workout of the day) and it felt so good, I just love the freedom of running. I say freedom but I do still have my husband on the phone nagging me to be careful as my leg has decided to collapse on my a couple of times and he is worried this will happen while I'm out on a run and that I may fall and knock myself out or something (I know, he is a little extreme). As normal, I have found a great way to shut him up by getting myself an ID bracket from www.getmyid.com and I must say that I can't rate them enough.

By simply entering my details etc online all my personal illness information as well as next of kin is held in one place.  So if I am found in an unconscious state on the floor and an ambulance gets to me, they will be able to track my information and treat me accordingly, as well as contacting my husband so that he can say 'I told you so of course'. Either way I have it covered and although I very much doubt that any such thing will ever happen it is reassuring to wear this somewhat attractive bracelet and, as I have said, a great way of shutting up the other half.

So what's my point? Well, since having the dodgy knee that at first prevented me from doing what I enjoy I thought positively about it. In fact I really hoped it was an 'MS' thing because that way I could find a way to work through/with it and I have done exactly that. When it hurts I try and just deal with the pain, when it really hurts then I stop and rest, when it collapses on me (which I have ever faith it won't) then I get myself home and get back on it tomorrow. If it continues to happen, that's when I get to give yoga a go.

Where there's a will there's a way. don't let anything beat you...

Hanging up my running shoes

It absolutely pains me to say this but I am having to hang up my running shoes (very much for the time being).
Apparently something is happening to my knee that means when I am 10-or-so minutes into a run my knee whats to give in and collapse! Arrgh. I can not tell you how this angers me.

The worst thing about it is the not knowing. I am currently waiting for the x ray results that will hopefully confirm what the issue is and indeed, if there is one at all.  The problem with MS is that there is every chance that I am having a relapse (of some sort) and that there is actually nothing wrong with me knee its just that my brain is telling me it hurts. Arrrgghh again. I guess the good news is though is that if it is a MS thing at least I know I can keep fighting through it without causing any further damage and this is very much something that I intend to do. You've got to hit me with something harder than that to keep me down!!!  If its not MS then great news again, at least I can get whatever is wrong fixed.

So its a sad day for me and my poor old running shoes that swing alone, but (and its a massive BUT), bring on the home workouts and get sweating.....

 I only said that I couldn't run didn't I?!?!?!?

Good Morning Britains Tough Mums

Having got myself back into (what I would call) pretty good shape since I was first diagnosed, things started to get a little boring. I was looking for a new challenge, something that would give me a bit of a kick into the unknown and then as if by magic an opportunity jumped in my path.

ITV's Good Morning Britain were advertising for Mum's to take on their Tough Mudder challenge and it really looked like just my cup of tea. Applicants would need to be a mum (tick), have a disability or chronic illness (tick) or would be raising money for a cause that would prove them a 'tough mum' (tick) but out of the thousands of entries, only 100 would be selected to take part.....
The day I received the phone call "Hi Gemma, my name is Scott and I am calling from Good Morning Britain" I very almost wet my pants with excitement, it was one of the best days ever!!!! I could not believe my luck, I was going to take on an incredible challenge (giving me a fantastic excuse to be able to train my bum off), hopefully raise a good amount of cash for charity and I was going to be on telly!!!! I can still feel the excitement rush through me as I talk about it.

Now if I was going to do this I was going to do it properly. There was no way I was going to make a fool of myself, I was going to train hard and do my research, look into every obstacle in detail and that's exactly what I did. Every morning I did 30 mins of intense training at home, be it cardio, upper body strength of lower strength and then every afternoon I went running, be it 5k or 10k, off road or road running, I just ran. It was only when I told people about what I was doing and how it came about that I remembered that I do actually have a chronic illness. For me the fitter I got and the harder I worked at it the less I felt that I even had MS. My mind was focused and very positive and I truly believe that that is half the battle, the same as with most things I guess. If I spoke to someone about the challenge who didn't know me there response would always be 'you can't be ill, you are fit'. You've got to love that......

So at my most super fittest the day arrived, it was cold and raining but it didn't matter as the adrenaline took care of that (for the time being anyway). A facebook group had been started so 50 ish of us mums where already in contact and it was truly inspiring meeting up with these wonderfully strong (both in and out) ladies. We all worked as a team to get each other through the course and much laughter was had along the way but for me, the laughter soon stopped after completing  Arctic Enema (dropping into swimming through ice cold water). All in all I found the course pretty easy on the physical side, I had been training so hard that I didn't doubt it to be honest but I was not expecting my MS to come and smack me in the face with a  very cold wet fish when it did. Oh man, I really struggled after my swim with the ice, my body temperature was unbearable but me being the stubborn cow that I am still completed the course before my body went into some sort of seizure on the other side of the finish line.

But what a day and what a fantastic event to be involved in, I was so incredibly proud of myself and am very much looking forward to my next challenge.... Tough Mum indeed.

Lets Get the Party Started

For some reason I am super nervous about my first post and seem to have been putting it off and off and off again, if there was an excuse as I why I haven't got it started yet then I can assure you I have used it. But, now is the time so I'll get started.

I guess there are 4 'key' parts to my life;
1. Married and a mother of two
2. Deeply passionate about fitness
3. I run my own business
4. I have Multiple Sclerosis

My life seems very basic and simple when I note it down in such a manner as '4 key points' doesn't it? Let me assure you though that there is nothing, nothing at all that is simple or basic about my life. I am sure that any mother can relate to that.

Being a full-time stay at home mum and house wife can be pretty tricky at the best of times (especially when your children are 1 and 3 years of age) but I absolutely love it. If I had a pound for every time I screamed 'Michael, come here' when I am doing a basic shop in Sainsbury's, I'd be a millionaire by now! I just love it.

The housewife part is simple too. Every step I take around the house involves me picking up various toys, bits of chewed up food or whatever lies in my path and disposing of. Every time I enter the kitchen I put the washing on or take the washing out, do the washing up (again), grab some food or start preparing breakfast, lunch or one the 3 dinners I will need to make that evening. Smile when husband arrives home from work and great with a bottle of beer - house wife done.

Fitness is a huge passion of mine and the one thing that I always, without fail, manage to find time to fit into my schedule. Having a chronic illness means that it is important to stay as fit and healthy as you can and that is all the excuse that I need. Squeezing an intense home workout in in the morning before toddler group is essential to me, a great way to get the day started and then I'll get a run done in the afternoon when Michael is at pre school (as I said, any excuse). Loads more to talk about on this subject as time goes on.

Running my own business is just fabulous. I get to work my own hours around the rest of my crazy life and make a good living from it, who could ask for more. The product that I work with is something else that I am hugely passionate about purely because I believe that it is what has given me the strength and capability to live my non-stop hetic life to its full - more about that at later date too.

So having MS is a pretty big part of my life, I guess. There's the thing, it 'was' a huge part of my life but these days, not anymore really. Over the last 3 years I have learnt to live with it, deal with it and basically get over it! The whole reason for my blog was behind me having MS really, I know of so many people that seem to really suffer from the illness and I figure that if there is just one thing that I could share that would maybe inspire just one person then it would be worth doing. So that's it, the orginal reason that I am here. I hope you stick with me and enjoy my daily ramblings but mostly, I truly hope to inspire someone who may need to see the light at the end of the tunnel.