Running naked in the rain

I should start by stressing that I have not actually been running 'naked' in the rain but I feel that during my last outing I pretty much could have been and would still have been completely comfortable and confident in myself if I was.

Let me explain.....
I'm not sure about anyone else but the thought of any type of fitness doesn't always excite me in the way you would imagine, especially as I do some sort of physical activity 6 days a week. Don't get me wrong, the initial thoughts are always positive and full of excitement because I know that once I have worked up a sweat and pushed myself to the limit I become a different person, someone that I love being. Oozing with confidence and a having a great sense of achievement that overpowers almost any self doubts that I may have is an incredible feeling and certainly one that is worth all the pain and sweat that I put my, sometimes, fatigued and aching body through.  But when it comes to crunch time I really have to force myself to just bloody well get on with it, and a few days ago it was a real struggle. Having decided the evening before that I would drop Michael at pre school and then take Stanley out in the running buggy for a morning run I could not believe my luck to wake up to the noise of rain hammering down on the bedroom window. Oh Christ! I had really wanted to go for a nice run and now its raining. Never mind, a bit of rain never hurt anyone and I could always scrap the run and do a home workout instead. No, I had planned a run and was looking forward to it, plus is was still only 4.30am and the weather is bound to calm down come 9 o'clock. Yes, I was still going for a run.

The rain didn't stop and I couldn't help but notice how chilly it was outside when I did the school run. Should I cancel and stay at home?  I would be cold running in the rain and then the MS would cause me to lose the feeling in my hands and possibly my feet as it tends to when I get cold. Oh Christ Gemma, just get the bloody buggy in the car and drive..

So I did and as I parked up, still trying to talk myself into it, I couldn't help but notice another 'going for a run' lady getting out of her car, just like that. Out she got, did a couple of stretches and she was off. Hum, a little bit of self-talk would help me out here surely, it had to be 'self-talk' as Stanley had already fallen asleep in the back of the car so there was not point in my trying to pretend to talk to my 1 year old. "She is probably only going a mile or two, not as far as me. She certainly isn't pushing a 2 stone baby in a buggy. I'm sure that she must have had more of a lie-in than me. There is no way that she has a chronic illness like me, that's for sure".  Funnily enough, the self-talk didn't make the slightest bit of difference but it did remind me that actually I was pretty tough. I do have a chronic illness, I am still choosing to push myself and go out running in the rain, I am taking my baby with me and I have been up since 4.30am. Yep, I am a fighter.

3....2.....1.....
I was out and off. The first 5 minutes where a little uncomfortable but only because I let my fears of numbness control my mind. Once the blood started pumping through my body the endorphins slowly started to show their face and I became alive. That feeling that I already new existed and the one that I guess I was chasing in a way had come alive.  Within 10 minutes the rain had become a blessing, the fresh smell that filled the air of the surrounding woods was sweet and innocent and the drops trickling down my face where so refreshing.  Every dog-walker that I passed, all wrapped up in big rain coats and wearing suitable wheelie boots, shared a greeting with me and each smile made me feel that it was their way of saying "well done you".

It would be true to say that I was totally buzzing and every step I took seemed to be effortless, no better than that, every step was a pleasure. The route I took was a trail run and pretty hilly but the scenery made it totally worth while and what's more is that once I made it to the top of the hill I am so full of pride that I actually feel like I am stood on top of the world.  The half-way point is always the best for me, to be able to stop and say 'wow, I have bloody done it.  After all that flapping about during the build up to what now seems very much like a simple run in the rain, I have actually done it, and it is beautiful'. The sense of achievement, knowing that you are better than 'that' and reminding yourself that you are one strong badass is exceptional and one of the biggest highs that life can give.

So all in all, if you skip through my babbling on about the whole build-up to what is,  I believe,  one of life's most fantastic feelings is that we all have 2 choices. We can choose to lie back and let the world/life/whatever you prefer to call it, control us or we can stand up to it, find our inner most strengths and live every second to the fullest. The rewards out-way any effort that it takes (big or small) as being able to say to yourself  'I fucking did it' has got to be the best thing ever!

Before I end the post I finish by saying that when I returned to my car I did strip off my soaking wet top and vest, down to just my running bra and pants (trousers) before wrapping myself into a cosy jumper and hoping in the car - half naked lets say ;-)